"You Don't Have to Believe Me"

A little positive self-affirmation brought to you by Eric Hutchinson

"You Don't Have To Believe Me"

You don't have to believe me I'm just speaking my mind
You look lovely as always you get that all the time
You don't have to believe me when I tell you that I'm impressed
But you sure better believe me when I say you deserve the best

You don't have to believe me but I'm not gonna lie
I've seen all the attention you get from other guys
You don't have to believe me when I tell you I like your dress
But you sure better believe me when I say you deserve respect

[CHORUS]
It feels like nobody's on your side no access to your pride
You gotta learn to take control your whole body is a temple so
You've got a choice to make and your mind is what's at stake
So before we build this love please believe that you're good enough

You don't have to believe me but I'm not often wrong
They've been taking advantage and it's gone on too long
You don't have to believe me when we're dancing out on the floor
But you sure better believe me when I say you are worth much more

[CHORUS]

You don't have to believe me
But you sure better believe me when I tell you you're due for love

I don't want nobody else
And nobody else is gonna treat you the way they ought to
And that's what you deserve
If I could make you see it
So you can truly believe it
So you won't even need it

Big Dreams, Little Budget, and How We Are Making It Happen

I am a dreamer. A head-in-the-clouds-walker. My mom has thrown up her hands in exasperation more than once, proclaiming, "You just want it all!"


And, yeah, I guess I do. 


I want to be loved and in love. I want my family to be happy and peaceful. I want to be understood, and if not, then left alone to be me and not criticized for it. I want the practical things, too, like being financial solvent, and not constantly worrying about each month's bills. I want my boy back in my life, most of all.


I can want all day, all life long, but how to make all these things happen?

Research. Action. Risk. Reward.

That is what I am going with. For now, shelved are the big vacation plans, the purchase of acreage in the sierras, a vacation home on the Russian River or Northern California coast; gone are the plans for a personal trainer and private Pilates instructor, for buying the old church in town and turning it into a brewery; put on hold are the motorcycles and boats and weekend convertibles.


Shelved are the wants and things that I have no control over.

Enter Excel spreadsheets, and Quicken budgeting. Enter negotiating old debts with creditors and finalizing payoffs. We go back to the drawing board, and try different avenues for finding sustainable income. We do our research, make smarter investments of our time, energy and money.


All of these things have led me to doing something I thought I would never do: buy investment real estate. I have struggled with the idea of buying foreclosed properties because I feel bad for the people who have lost their homes. Although I have some good business skills, a killer instinct isn't one of them. I keep picturing little Janie on the street, dolly held in one hand, big eyes glistening with tears. I am a melodramatic sap, I know, but I still can't seem to get the image out of my head.


So, I committed myself to finding a property (or properties) that were for sale in markets with a high demand for rentals. This, done correctly, could provide a source of income now, and be a financial asset later in life.


Step 1. Research


Some of the most depressed markets home-wise are becoming or have become markets with a higher demand for rental properties. It is not hard to see why; times are tight and people need a place to live, and renting becomes a cheaper alternative than their mortgage, if they haven't foreclosed already.


Cities with low house prices and high demand include Stockton (no surprise there), Detroit (or there), Las Vegas, Orlando, Bakersfield, Phoenix, and Ft Lauderdale. Atlanta and San Francisco are also notable due to their stagnate house prices, yet ever-increasing rents. But the creme de la creme and biggest surprise: Chicago.
Condos, lofts, and flats in the downtown and highly sought-after North Side are at an all time low, while the demand for rental properties continues to surge. When looking at price per square foot coupled with potential ROI, there is no better city than Chicago to buy in right now.


Step 2. Action


We have started making the calls, contacting potential properties and their agents. We have started the preliminary financial discussions, and are meeting with our broker this weekend. (Yes, our money guy works weekends and even comes to our house, even though we don't have much of it.)


Step 3. Risk


This is scary. We have never been landlords. Chicago is thousands of miles away. We are using our savings and tapping some retirement funds for this. All of these things are definite risks. But without CALCULATED risk, there can be no....


Step 4. Reward


What will this do for us? It provides us with a second source of income. We will actually be able to pay the mortgage, insurance, and taxes with the rental income AND put money in the bank each month. It will build equity, providing us with a measure of financial security in the future. 


It will make it possible to re-launch a legal assault on my ex, and bring my family back together. It may provide for college tuition for him, retirement for ourselves, or the ability to help our parents as they age.


Eventually, in the not too distant future, we will even be able to start pulling some of those fun things back off of that shelf, and enjoy the fruits of our labor.

By the dawn's early light

"Oh-o, say can you see, by the dawn's early light..."

The opening lines of our National anthem, although not the most descriptive of the poem by Francis Scott Key, have always painted such beautiful colors in my mind.

This morning, after nights of interrupted, restless sleep, I awoke with the very start of the dawn, when the sky is just slightly bluer than the black outline of the trees outside my window. I watched the sky lighten and brighten for over an hour, feeling a mixture of contentedness and inflamed inspiration, so fortunate to have witnessed the magic of an uncontrived beauty in our often over-processed and manufactured world.

At one point the thought to grab my camera flitted by, but I made no move to retrieve it. I suppose I knew subconsciously that any attempt to capture the colors, the mood would be nearly impossible; it was as if the dawn had been painted for me in that moment, only those moments, exactly as it was supposed to be seen.

I suppose I could attempt to describe the colors to you, Reader, the darkest of navy, the richest of cobalts, the truest cerulean, the lightest blue-butter-cotton sky, but such injustice I would do to you and the glory witnessed. My truest and best advice: see the dawn on a clear Spring morn, and hope to be as inspired as I.

"My profession is to always find God in nature." - Henry David Thoreau

"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." - George Bernard Shaw

Friday the 13th Party...of 3.

We had planned a fun night of pizza, cupcakes, and drinking games centered around this past Friday the 13th, complete with a viewing of both classics "Friday the 13th" (1980) and "Friday the 13th II" (1982).  Sadly, only ONE PERSON actually showed up.  Wish I had known that before the three Family-size pizzas and 18 cupcakes were made.  ARRRRGGGG!

Not to be completely defeated, we rallied on, played the game (all 3 of us), gorged on pizza, and enjoyed my "Killer KupKakes", which turned out to be AWESOME!  By the end of the night our sides and faces hurt from laughing so hard; maybe it was meant to be just the three of us.

For a very decent recipe, try Alton Brown's Devil's Food recipe (although I HATE his frosting).  You can either make your own cherry pie filling (one of my faves by mybakingaddiction.com), or buy it in the can (I won't judge).  Bake the cupcakes, allow to cool five minutes, hollow out the middles, spoon in filling, top with cake you have hollowed out, and cover with a dollop of frosting once completely cooled.  


These little cakes look delightfully bloody, have a gooey gore center, and, of course, taste delicious! If prepared in a slightly "cleaner" way, these make for romantic Valentine's Day treats, too.

FUBAR

So, without working laptop loaded with the correct photo editing software, my blog has fallen sadly behind.  I will be trying to get everything uploaded from Poland, Mexico, Jerusalem, and in between in the next two weeks.  Unfortunately, it won't be chronologically accurate, but deal with it, okay?